Some are stupid, some are special. But I don't know what to do about them. The fact is that love can't be mesured, and that selfconfidance can't be unbrokable.
Every word he said to her, he didn't say it to me, but every word he said to me, he said it to her. It's difficult to know, or to accept, rather, that, even if he loves me now, he loved (or i think, believe, or feel that) her much more than he loves me now. One is past, the other is present, i know, ...
But I'am not the best one.
He won't agree, i know it, also. But what can I do, feelings are not something we are able to control. And that the point.
I am powerless, I can't do anything. To make his feeling grow is impossible.
What should i try? to make him feel that I could go away from him? Could he then feel more about me? I don't think it's a good idea, just because that he is scared that i could go away.
This empty hole in my heart that is born when I saw the words he wrote to her et never said to me, is bursting with pain.
I can't do anything. I know that. And that's worse than anything.
I can't tell him how I feel now, because he will find me too boring.
"I love you"
"you know it"
"You shouldn't bother yourself with that!"
What can I do?
This feeling is awful, dreadful, painful.
Nothing is to be done.
Just hope that his feelings will grow slowly enough to be sure that I am the one, and that he loves me for ever.
I know it sounds stupid, but i never said I was smart!
I am not what he wants his girlfriend to be. I am not strong, i am not self confident, I am not happy alone, i am not independant.
Is it so bad?
I should be happy every second of my life, i know that, but it's so difficult.
I have just to wander what's the point of a human being, and i'm depressed yet. I think maybe too much, is that it?
What is the point?
Just, I have the feeling he loved her much more than He loves me now, and wander why.
Am I less beautyful? Am i less arrogant? Am I less selfconfident? Am i more dependant? What is then the matter?
help... may i say that, or is it again showing that i am unhappy?
please love, tell me I am stupid, and that you love me much more than you ever did before!